This morning I woke up, cleaned the house a bit. I guess cleaning and clearing physical spaces always has some sort of philosophical clearance effect on me. After all the fogginess and dullness of the last 1-2 months, I’m now sitting on my contemplation corner and reaching some clarity. Remembering my breath, remembering myself… Feeling clarity… Sort of… Not all the way… More to come! Maybe… Maybe not… What I know is now, this is the experience of my moment…
It hasn’t been easy, the last one month, the chaos… I was sort of disabled. I was doing things to be done, and sleeping the rest of the time. Very little human interaction… Funny that I pick the “Hermit” card today from Jodorowsky’s tarot cards. There has been always that hermit in me since I was a child. Yea winters are always a bit hermit like anyways. With the pandemic now even more maybe… I don’t know how much I honoured my hermit side so far… Comes and goes. Ahh this need of human interaction and closeness… I feel a strong urge for being close with beloved ones. But immediately, it feels overwhelming… So I take my time and space…
A whole Christmas and festivity time passed, and I kept retreating, it’s okay. I am honouring my need of hibernation. And I repeat, may I accept my situation the way it is…
Shall I do the cliché of how 2021 was difficult and at the same time very expanding in my spiritual journey : ) I guess I’m already doing it… The thing is I feel closer to who I might become… Every day more… I don’t know if this is about 2021 or the pandemic or what ever… What I experience is constant progress and change… And I guess that’s part of the chaos anyways. I’m now sitting here on my cushion and reflecting back, and I feel a strong urge to accept it. Accept what ever the experience is, the way it is.
Funny how difficult it could be to rest in the moment sometimes. I definitely have this feeling when I meditate every morning, those moments of clarity… I feel like the work is expanding this spaciousness into the everyday life. It was interesting for me to also experience how mindfulness coaching is an amazing work for me. Each time I’m holding a session for someone else it feels like a little representation of everyday life, I have to be so present through the session in order to create safety for the client, and that requires me to constantly remember my breath and remember my body. Each moment I hear their words, my body has a response to it… But then I remember that it’s not about me, it’s not my story, and I’m here for them… Those are the moments that I can rest in…
Acceptance… Feels like it’s a big word…
We read it everywhere since the new age spirituality became mainstream, it’s presented as if it’s a very easy thing to do… Hah! You sit for one meditation and you accept everything! Yeayy! I, on the other hand can only talk about my urge to accept. I know for sure, I have glimpse of these easy moments occur with acceptance and letting go… But I prefer to accept the fact that acceptance comes and goes as well… And I guess I end my words here and I rather hear your experiences about acceptance…