heyecan

excitement
 

what am I excited for, 
my existence?
why that ascent inside me…
tearing up, for what?
is it writing what makes me excited,
or words?
why that whizzing bird in me
me, myself,
the one that always in existential pain
what now?
getting excited for my existence…
giving in?
why that excitement…
beware!
you might again cry tomorrow, 
for your existence
and cling even more,
on your ego… 
while speaking of
letting go!
 


heyecanım neyedir, 
varoluşuma mı?
nedendir bu yükseliş içimde…
gözlerimin dolu dolu oluşu niye?
yazmak mı heyecanlandıran,
kelimeler mi?
anlamam nedir bu içimdeki pır pır eden kuş…
hep varoluşsal acı çeken,
ben…
şimdi varoluşumdan heyecan mı duyayım…
ben’i teslim mi edeyim…
nedir yani bu heyecan,
aman dikkat et!
yarın yine ağlarsın 
varoluşuna…
teslim edeyim derken
daha da bağlanırsın
egona…

January 2021, Brandenburg

All okay

“It’s okay!”
whispering…
that it’s okay
that was what she wanted to hear
for so long…
“okay!”
dancing with purple
dissolving the pain
and she is not alone
all okay
with or without…
“okay!’
dancing with purple
the door to open to self…
and it’s okay!

December 2019, Berlin